A Little ♥ and Soul

It has been 17 years since you've been gone. I think about you all the time. Especially when things are still and my mind has time to wander. I wonder what would be different if you were alive. I can't imagine anything really being the same if you were here to influence my decisions. Maybe I'd be a little more extroverted. Maybe I wouldn't crave alone time as much as I do. I am glad, though, that I like the quiet. I like the quiet because it gives me time to think about you. It gives me time to dream, time to think if I'm capable of achieving those dreams. Those dreams are often influenced by the thoughts I have of you. How much you'd love my happy place nestled in the mountains. How much you'd be happy that I finally know what I want to do with my life. My passion to help people, to help educate them about living a healthier life comes from you. I am me because of you. Maybe it wouldn't have taken me so long to figure things out if you were here. Ma...

So much has been happening in the world the past two weeks. Especially in the United States. I'm not one for politics. I have my opinions, but everyone around me has these huge, big shout in your face opinions about politics and what's going on in the US that I really don't want to participate. All I really want to say is if you're one of those people that say "F*ck the police/military! They just want to kill innocent people." To you I say, it's because of them that you have the right to say that. Because of them and the laws of this country, you have the right to vote, state your opinions without the fear of being executed. Yes, there are a few individuals that get power hungry and take things too far, but it would unfair and unjust to lump all police/military into the same horrible group that you're putting them into. I could just as well lump you into the same horrible group that needlessly make things harder for them, who throw cement blocks on the...

Okay, I'm going to preface this blog with a little warning. I rarely talk about religion. I'll bring God up once in a while, but I don't really write about my faith and religion here. Today is different. Today I am writing about my God, my faith, and my religion. You've been warned....for lack of a better word. My dad came home from babysitting my nieces and nephew for a week and a half and needed a break. I was all too happy to oblige. I like sleeping in my bed and waking up when I want to. Anyway, a weekend at home meant that - after being in Ogden for almost three months now - I got to go to my actual ward. There are few things that I tell people about myself. If you don't ask, I don't tell. People NEVER ask about religion. Most people don't know I'm Mormon. I'm a Mormon. Like Gladys Knight and the Osmonds. If you don't know who those people are, do you live under a rock or were you born in the last 15 years? Anyway, I've been str...

My dad and I went on a drive tonight on our way home from dinner. We literally live at the mouth of Ogden Canyon. In the combined time that I've lived in Ogden, I have never been up the canyon. It proved to be a good experience. A small storm made its way up the narrow canyon and it smelled deliciously of rain and pavement. I love that combination. The whole drive made me miss Oregon and then I had this immediate love and appreciation for Utah mountains. Of all the places I've lived, Utah's mountain are unrivaled. They are my favorite. We drove through Huntsville and Eden. They're situated around Pineview Reservoir.  Maybe it's the INFJ in me that is attracted to podunk-y places like Huntsville and Eden (Go to the link. It'll seriously give you insight on my personality.). Maybe it's because both towns are right on the water. Either way, I love the tranquility that is literally right up the street from me. Part of me wants to move up there to get ...

I'm listening to a sad, melancholy song right now. The past month has been hard. I moved to Ogden with a few goals in mind: 1. Find a job because traveling 45 minutes by car and 1.5 HOURS by train is ridiculous and expensive. 2. Get out of debt. 3. Go back to school. In the past month, I've gone to at least 1 interview a week; usually more, and nothing has come to fruition. Looking for jobs and applying for them is one thing, but getting a call for an interview, and doing a really good job at being a good interviewee only to not get a phone call back with a job offer is totally soul crushing. I've applied to jobs that I am way overqualified for. I've applied for jobs that I have all the right qualifications for and am competing with several other applicants for 1 or 2 positions. I've applied for jobs that I'm only slightly under-qualified for and I still haven't heard from 2 of the 3 positions. I hate not having a job. I really do. The first day or two, a...

Friday was an epically hard day. It involved a client getting poop all over the bathroom wall. I guess I should preface that statement with: I work with adults with disabilities. Anyway, that whole episode includes explosive diarrhea. Ugh...just reliving that afternoon makes me mad. There was a string of expletives mumbled under my breathe. There was a 5 minute time out in my boss' office, for myself, of course. There was a very upset custodian who had to clean up the mess that said client left behind. Then there was food at a Mongolian grill that night (which really wasn't worth the $14). Overall, the whole day was kind of a dozy. Although, the donut gelato creations that my roommate and I got that night after dinner were pretty fantastic. Work has been getting emotionally harder as the weeks go by. I don't know if it's because the clients are getting more demanding or I just don't care anymore; either way, I generally don't look forward to going to work an...

Four more days; that's is all that is left of the year 2015. The date that Marty McFly and Doc went to in the future - October 21, 2015 - is now in the past. There are things that I didn't think would be done this year, but somehow, I made happen. Things like: exercising on a consistent basis and changing jobs when I thought I was sitting pretty comfortably for another two years.  (Google search) Exercise has become a integral part of my day. When I don't exercise, my body knows. When I do, though, I sleep better and I feel better about myself. Since moving in with Janae, I've been more mindful of what I put in my body and how much I exercise. She's a Beach Body coach, which means I have access to the 21 Day Fix workouts. Those are probably my favorite workouts. I took a few days off to battle a cold and when I started back with the upper fix, I strained my shoulder a bit. I tried playing doctor and self-diagnosed myself with a torn rotator cuff in my left ...