I've been in Beaverton for T H R E E whole days. It feels very surreal to be here. Like, it hasn't fully sunk in that I can't walk down the street or hop on the Trax/bus/FrontRunner to go see my family. Well, the not seeing my family part has sunk in. I feel sad about that. Mostly, I feel, because it's the holidays and I'm pretty much in a foreign place with no one to really lean on. But I'll get to that in a minute.
Firstly, I'm glad I'm here. I've needed the change for a while now.
Secondly, being away from my family sucks. I've been in the same state with most of them for the past almost 8 1/2 years. Now that I'm away, I'm sad that I can't get to them in an hour's drive.
Thirdly, it's been quite the culture shock. Beaverton, unlike any city in Utah, has A LOT of black people. Just in my complex, there's a ton of Somalians. I've seen, aside from my roommates, maybe 3 white people. It's weird to me, as someone who grew up in a very diverse town, to be in a new city where there are a ton of different kinds of people. Living in Utah, I was so used to there being a lot of white kids and a sprinkling of Latinos/Mexicans. To say the least, I've been desensitized of any sort culture. I was a little shocked to feel that I was a little intimidated when I walked around my neighborhood by all the black people here. Before you think I'm racist, I'm not. Far from it, actually. I just got used to being around a bunch of Mormons and white people for so long.
Moving along...
Fourthly, it really hasn't sunk in that I'm here.
Fifthly, my job. Ugh...Bad News Bears. I was basically replaced this time around. I have $8 to my name and maybe $2 in the bank. I won't be starting at the Portland store till January. I spent most of the day yesterday, lying in bed feeling sorry for myself. Before moving, I got pretty sick. I could hardly speak, I couldn't laugh without hacking up a lung. So, after getting here, I spent the rest of Monday and Tuesday in bed coughing up disgusting green phlegm. By Wednesday when I could speak in a normal voice, I called in to see when the HR lady wanted to come in, she said that she had basically replaced me. I know people are replaceable at work, but really? I should have had the spot RSVP'd for with my transfer. It's all stupid....all of it.
Just typing that makes me angry, but I'm trying to get over it.
Anyway, I'm here. That's all I can really say. We finally have chairs to sit in, thank goodness. Sitting on the floor has, quite literally, been a pain in the butt. Actually, as I'm typing this post, I'm sitting on the floor. Of all the silliness...
I'm gathering up the courage to not be sad this Christmas holiday. Not having a job for the rest of the month is zapping all my courage and my spirit. Also, being away from my family makes me sad. But I'm sure I'll get through it. I just have to have a little more faith.
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