A Little ♥ and Soul

So it's been a crazy couple of days. I found out that I had the answer to a certain prayer that was prayed staring me right in the face and decided to interpret it wrong and do what I wanted to do instead of having faith in my Heavenly Father and go with His answer. Yesterday in Sacrament, we sang I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go and I started to cry because I knew that I had chosen the wrong answer and went against the will of my Heavenly Father. After I realized it, I decided, fine. I'll do it. I'll take the leap. I really don't want to, but thy will be done. So Michelle and I went visiting teaching and went home. I realized, as well, that I was pretty much a monster towards Michelle who didn't deserve the attitude that I gave her. I needed to think. I needed to pray. I simply needed to be alone. By myself. Michelle went to go visit some friends and I was alone to think without any interruptions. I needed to write out what I was feeling. I have always been bet...

Sometimes I think that God likes toying with my emotions. He says do this and I'll take care of the rest. I do what He says only to find out that it was just a test of faith and nothing comes of what I endeavered to do in the first place. Then I go to the temple not asking why, but what was it that you wanted me to learn from making the jump only to be pulled back. It's always the same. "Faith. You need more faith. Don't give up. You know I wouldn't have let you go too far without being there for you. Just practice your patience and learn to have more faith in me." It's hard to have faith in something when whatever you're trying to do or want to do that is of value is put on hold because Heavenly Father wants you to do something different. It's been an exceptionally trying summer so far...and yes, it's only June. I just want some relief. Relief from life. From people. From drama. I want to move back to California where I can start anew. Or may...

So, I'm weird. I'm sitting here at work listening to Christmas music. Up right now is Josh Groban's Believe from The Polar Express. I full intend on listening to other such holiday music until I have to leave. And yes, I'm one of those people who hate when retailers bring out their Christmas stuff before Halloween and I refuse to listen to holiday music till after Thanksgiving. I'm just in Christmas mood right now. Weird. I know.

So, I just had the best tasting rice, veggie, potato blend veggie crisp ever! Seriously. Good stuff. It's called Flat Earth and the flavor of the day is tangy tomato ranch. Really yummy people. I'm usually not a huge fan of baked veggie crisps, but the flavor was better than anything I've ever tasted. I'd take a picture of the now empty bag, but I don't have my camera with me today. Anyway, in other news, my sister is moving today. Kind of bummed, not gonna lie. But she's only in the next state. A mere 4 hour drive. Uh...yeah. I was just informed that I inherited all her spices. Don't know if I should be excited or not seeing as my roommate already has a ton of spices that I've been using. Our supply will probably be doubled with the stash that my sister passed on to me. Uh...there was something else that I wanted to post about but it has conveniently slipped my mind. Hm...oh! I bought a new pair of earrings from this place called The Coal Umbrella here...

So, my teeth are bothering me. Yes. My teeth are bothering me. I have one that is currently abscesed and it hurts. Not looking foward to the root canal. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I will have to have numerous root canal therapies and all for the not so pretty price of a bajillion dollars a piece. I don't know if I want to wait to just have my root canals done for free at Salt Lake Donated Dental Services or to spend money on the insurance and still have to pay through the nose. I'm not sure...wait 2 weeks to actually have time to go up to SLC and gamble at the chance of not being seen or spend the money on insurance, get it immediately done. There's a place in Provo that will yank the tooth out for less than $200 but I don't think yanking the tooth will fix the problem in its entirity. Oh headache...I have to go home and see if my tax stimulus check came in the mail today. If it did, then maybe it'll be possible to get the tooth yanked so the abscese can drai...

Again, first thing that popped into my head when I was trying to come up with a post title. Maybe this will be a re-occurring tradition: title posts after books, songs...whatever. It'll give off a false sense of what the post is really about. Hm...anyway. Just a small tangenet. I was just on facebook like 2 seconds ago and one of my friends from a previous ward found me! This girl is seriously amazing...glad she found me! Yay for social networking! I'm surprised that I know all 130 (?) people on my friends list. I have a myspace page and I hardly go on there now that I have a facebook. Myspace is good for music and finding new bands or what have you, but facebook is a lot better as far as the social networking stuff goes. Plus, there's no images of half dressed girl with their boobs hanging out of whatever clothing the link is trying to sell. Hm...what else....? I'm kind of nervous/excited about the interview on Wednesday. I need to find someone to cover my shift on Wed...

i've been getting calls for AmeriCorps lately that I really want to interview for. only problem i can really see is that i told my brother i'd be staying to work at the provo store. if i get the job i'd have to tell him and possibly disappoint him. i don't like disappointing people. but i kind of feel that it's something i need to do. i'm running out of time to call the lady back about the position, so i need to find somewhere i have more than 1 little bar of reception.