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Sentimental Word Vomit


There's this road I like driving down at night mostly because at the starting point of the loop, it smells like pine trees and dirt. It reminds me of going to the mountains near where I grew up in California. Just up the road there are horse pastures, and when the wind is blowing the right direction, the pine trees and dirt scent mingles with a faint horse pasture scent. It reminds me of home. Especially during the summer evenings when the sun is going down the farmers have usually been watering their hay and alfalfa pastures and I love the scent of water, sun warmed pastures, pine trees, and dirt.

I'm a sentimental person, obviously. I like driving this loop with the windows down and radio off while I think about life and make plans. Sometimes, I drive this loop just to smell the pine trees and dirt. I love when there isn't much of a moon out and it's a clear night when I drive this mountain road. When I'm closing the loop and making my way home - or sometimes going another round on the loop - there's spot near a farmer's pasture where it's almost completely dark, except for a lone faint street light, there's a clearing between mountain peaks where you can see a million stars. I always slow down during this stretch of road and look at the stars. If there were a safe place for me to park and not trespass on private property, I would totally sit in the middle of the hay pasture and stare at the stars and take in the faint scent of pine trees and dirt and hay.

Places like this makes me want to stay in Utah. Which is something I thought I'd never, NEVER thought I'd say. Ugh...I just need to marry a man who doesn't mind a little hard work and will let me decide where we live.

In other news...

School is coming up pretty quickly. In order for me to get any financial assistance, I have to take a full course load of at least 14 credits. I also need to work full time or close to full time. I can feel myself getting stressed out - which is why I went on my favorite mountain drive in the first place. I'm not so worried about money after school starts, but between now and January, what do I do? I've applied for jobs. I actually have a good chance of getting a full time job at one of the hospitals here in Ogden, but I don't know how I'll do with full time school and full time employment. Just the thought of it makes me ridiculously tired. I don't know. I don't know (that's my life slogan right now.). I guess I'll be testing my faith in myself and my motivation to finish what I've started.

Anyway, I'll be going back to my pine tree and dirt scented happy place in my dreams tonight and try to not worry so much.

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