"I have learned that we feel like a failure when we make mistakes even when we profess a belief that the purpose of this existence is to make and learn from them."
Growing up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I have had this belief that - as the quote says - we are here experiencing mortality to make mistakes and to learn from them so we can, eventually, become exalted beings and live with our Heavenly Father. In it's simplest form, that is why we're here. We have steps that we have to perform to attain such exaltation; faith, repentance, baptism, gift of the Holy Ghost, enduring to the end, temple ordinances...you get the point. The first three things I mentioned are always ongoing. We're baptized with water and every week with the sacrament, we renew those covenants. It's a time for reflection of what we've done during the week. What went wrong, what went right, what we need to work on.
Anyhow, growing up in the church, I feel like that, sometimes almost all the time. Here's an example of the dialog I have with myself whenever I sin.
Me: Ugh..
Brain: You did it again. Didn't you?
Me: Yes...
Brain: I thought you decided that you were going to stop doing that.
Me: I know, I know. I swear...I have no self control.
Brain: I guess I'm partially to blame for that. I am your brain after all.
Me: I'm such a failure.
Heart: Maybe you should be more consistent in your church attendance, you dummy.
Me: But...
Heart: No buts. You know you should be at church instead of sleeping. I know you worked a graveyard shift, but there's always after church naps to be had.
Me: But...
I could go on and on, but you get the point.
Life is all about gaining experience through our mistakes regardless of how big or small they are. It can be something like judging people through our own dirty windows or something huge like addiction. Hope is out there. Bishops are there to guide us in our journeys through even our most egregious sins. We just have to have the courage to ask for the help. Which, personally, I think is the hardest part. Having the courage to ask for help is the hardest because - at least for myself - is almost like admitting defeat. You're admitting there is a problem. You're admitting to yourself that you can't fix whatever it is on your own. Acknowledging the need to rectify the problem and then asking for the help...if only it were that easy. My pride gets in the way 99.9 percent of the time. Okay, okay...it's more like 100 percent of the time. It's hard, but I'm more than positive that asking help from our Heavenly Father through the direction of the bishop can only be met by love. Love will find you there.
Anyway, go to this blog. It is beautifully written from the perspective of an LDS Bishop. The men who have been my bishops, I have new respect and love for them and it makes going to my current one not so scary because I know that love will find me there.
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