Wanted: A Friend to...

If I were one of those people who posted personal ads on CraigsList, I would post something like this:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to take a nap when I was younger. 
4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. MapQuest really needs to start their directions at #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I really can't remember the last time I wasn't at least a little tired. *ugh...word*
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to restart my collection...again.
13. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means that I will never wash this - ever.
14. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my two page technical report that I swear I didn't make any changes to. 
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it). But when I immediately call back it rings nine times and goes right to voice mail. What did they do when I didn't answer? Drop their phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house looking good and confident and not seeing anyone of importance during the day. What a waste...
17. I keep some people's numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light, too.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Miller Lite than with Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes I'll watch a movie that I would watch when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first watched it.
22. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text message.
23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
24. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand what they just said?
25. I would rather carry 10 over-loaded grocery bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in.
26. I LOVE the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up together to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong my brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me, or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?
29. There is no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you're going to die after leaning back in your chair a little too far. 
30. As a driver, I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists. 
31. Sometimes I'll look at my watch THREE consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone and Pinning the Tail On The Donkey, but I'd bet the farm that everyone can find and press the snooze button  from 3 feet away in under 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. 

           If you agree or see where I'm coming from with the above list, we should be friends. Nay, best friends. You and I would be quite the pair. 

Today has been rough. It was actually a pretty good day up until I got home and received some not so great news. News that could potentially knock me out of an extra 185 buckaroos. I am not happy in the least. To top it all off, I am officially on my own to empty an apartment of it's contents before July 20th. Okay, maybe I'm not officially on my own to empty the apartment, but it feels like it. Right now, in my pity party, it feels like I'm alone. But really, in my logical brain, I am not. I have a fantastic group friends that would do pretty much anything for me. I don't know how I made such a group of friends in the short time that I've been here in Oregon. They truly are a godsend and I really don't know what I'd do without them. They've kept me from being truly alone when the people I've been living with had their own crap to deal with. 

But for now, I am going to bed to wallow in my semi self induced pity party.

sayonara. ciao. hasta manana. aloha.