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Christmas

So, it's almost 3 AM on my SEVENTH snowy Christmas in Utah. Man...I can't believe I've been here almost 7 years. I think there should be a time limit on how long people should live in Utah if they aren't from Utah originally.

Anyhow, the house is quiet and I just finished catching up on my shows (Glee, mostly), and I got to thinking, "Hey, it's Christmas. You should post something." So, here I be.

Christmas. I was thinking tonight while we feasted on tons of food - food that isn't even close to being half eaten through even though there are 6 grown people in my house right now - and then washing ALL the dishes myself, I was thinking that I can't wait to have my own place. A place of my own where I can go to somewhere else for the holidays and not worry about washing dishes that are only brought out twice a year, if that.

I was also thinking that this Christmas kind of sucks because my siblings are all over the place except with each other. Holidays are about family togetherness and while I like LOVE having my alone time far more than I should, Christmas is about family togetherness. Since my sister in law's family has been here, I've pretty much turned into a hermit and have been staying up late watching Gilmore Girls and sleeping in past 10 AM and then working out in my room after which I take a shower and finally emerge from my cave and finally eat something before I pass out. So yeah...this Christmas pretty much stinks.

I was also thinking that not having any sort of job or income sucks during Christmas. I won't really complain about this one because really? I'm pretty much to blame for not looking for a job after I got laid off from the gas station. Whoever heard of people getting laid off from a gas station? Geez...

I was also thinking about my mom tonight. My sister in law made tamales for dinner along with everything else and I was thinking my mom should be here making these. Then I stopped thinking about my mom because I started to get teary eyed and I don't like crying in front of people I really don't know.

Then I started thinking about all my blessings in spite of having a crappy 4 1/2 months that I haven't told anyone about because well, I don't tell anyone my problems; that's just how I roll. Anyhow, I started thinking about my blessings. I have so many. So many tender mercies that have shown up over the past couple months. I mean true, I still don't have a job and I still have so many other things I have to worry about, but knowing that my Savior has provided small breaks of sunshine to shine through the clouds has made all the difference. I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to learn from these trials I'm going through, but I hope I learn the lessons soon...really soon.

And then those thoughts brought on thoughts of what I want to do with my life. I've been making so many plans with different people that I haven't really sat down on thought what I needed to do to make any of these plans work out. I mean I'd have to complete another 3 semesters of school before leaving Utah to get into the East Coast university I want to get into and I'd have to find a job and save up money first to even consider moving to the East and...the list is long and I'm not completely sure what all needs to be on there at the moment. All I'm saying though is that I desperately need out of Utah. I need to get out of here and far, far, far, FAR away from the people that say that are my friends but really aren't.

*sigh* I feel the need to make a list of things I need to do. I'm a list person. I like lists. That's my borderline Type A personality peeking around the corner. Maybe I'll post a little later when I'm not so under the influence of sleepiness.

Ok people. Have a Happy Christmas!

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