Today was my first day back to school in nearly 3 weeks. The week before my class went on our official 10 day break, the sh*t really hit the fan here at work. Well, it wasn't all at the facility I work for, but we certainly did get sprayed by the proverbial crap. Anyhow, during that whole week - before the break - I worked every single day. As in, of the four day a week school schedule we were on during the summer, I didn't attend a single day because of my responsibilities here at work and because the things that happened during that week. The dust has settled, but everything leading up to that point has left me thinking about what I'm going to do about school.
I've missed enough days at school because of work. This whole graveyard shift messes with my sleeping schedule and throw in a book heavy/skills learning heavy course...it stresses me out. There is no lecture. It's all go at your own pace. I never knew, before now, that I'm the kind of student that thrives off the lecture portion of any college/university level class. I know what to expect on tests without having to read much of the textbook. Don't get me wrong, I'd read portions of the required reading material, but only to clarify my notes. My first semester back to a university level class load - after not taking ANY classes for almost a decade - I finished the semester off with a 3.22 GPA. That's pretty darn great, if you ask me.
Anyway, the school gives you a year to complete the course in it's entirety, but if you don't finish in the given time, you have to pay for every hour you go over. At this point, I will be going over. Part of me knows that if I don't put in double the time in for class attendance - meaning I'd be at school for 7 hours a day on top of the hour commute it takes for me to get there on the bus on top of the hours I have to put in at work when we're short on people...it makes me very tired. And stressed.
I guess the question I'm asking myself is: do I go back to the traditional university degree path I was on or do I take a break from the course I'm on and try again later? Do I quit my job to focus on the Medical Assisting course? I don't know. I love learning at my own pace, but I also really need deadlines. Clear expectations rather than, oh, go at your pace, but you only have a year, so...
And the thing that bugs me about the school I go to is that you don't get any of the leftover financial aid till you hit almost 800 hours. What if I needed that money to pay for rent or groceries? What if I need that leftover money for supplies? I wore the same scrubs for MONTHS after I started the course.
I really wish that I knew what I was passionate about before now. Right now, I'm passionate about helping people succeed. I'm really good at editing, but I don't really want to spend my time in a traditional classroom. I'd really like to volunteer for the Peace Corps and teach English. Then come back and get a Master's in something. I haven't really thought that far.
While I have all these ideas bouncing around my head, at the same time, I've started and haven't finished anything as far as my education goes. I haven't been passionate about any of it at all. All of it has been just a means to an end so I can do what I really wanted to do in the first place. I guess my end game is just getting my education in, have one last hurrah and then get married and have children. And if the whole marriage and children bit doesn't happen, then I can keep on going in any direction I want.
School ---> Peace Corps --->Marriage & kids OR school --->Peace Corps ---> Grad School in Hawaii or Alaska or California or Oregon and then hope that I find my eternal companion in one of those states and then adopt or just find a single dad....
Thinking about all of this makes my brain hurt and gives me more anxiety then I need. At least I have the weekend to really think about it.
I've missed enough days at school because of work. This whole graveyard shift messes with my sleeping schedule and throw in a book heavy/skills learning heavy course...it stresses me out. There is no lecture. It's all go at your own pace. I never knew, before now, that I'm the kind of student that thrives off the lecture portion of any college/university level class. I know what to expect on tests without having to read much of the textbook. Don't get me wrong, I'd read portions of the required reading material, but only to clarify my notes. My first semester back to a university level class load - after not taking ANY classes for almost a decade - I finished the semester off with a 3.22 GPA. That's pretty darn great, if you ask me.
Anyway, the school gives you a year to complete the course in it's entirety, but if you don't finish in the given time, you have to pay for every hour you go over. At this point, I will be going over. Part of me knows that if I don't put in double the time in for class attendance - meaning I'd be at school for 7 hours a day on top of the hour commute it takes for me to get there on the bus on top of the hours I have to put in at work when we're short on people...it makes me very tired. And stressed.
I guess the question I'm asking myself is: do I go back to the traditional university degree path I was on or do I take a break from the course I'm on and try again later? Do I quit my job to focus on the Medical Assisting course? I don't know. I love learning at my own pace, but I also really need deadlines. Clear expectations rather than, oh, go at your pace, but you only have a year, so...
And the thing that bugs me about the school I go to is that you don't get any of the leftover financial aid till you hit almost 800 hours. What if I needed that money to pay for rent or groceries? What if I need that leftover money for supplies? I wore the same scrubs for MONTHS after I started the course.
I really wish that I knew what I was passionate about before now. Right now, I'm passionate about helping people succeed. I'm really good at editing, but I don't really want to spend my time in a traditional classroom. I'd really like to volunteer for the Peace Corps and teach English. Then come back and get a Master's in something. I haven't really thought that far.
While I have all these ideas bouncing around my head, at the same time, I've started and haven't finished anything as far as my education goes. I haven't been passionate about any of it at all. All of it has been just a means to an end so I can do what I really wanted to do in the first place. I guess my end game is just getting my education in, have one last hurrah and then get married and have children. And if the whole marriage and children bit doesn't happen, then I can keep on going in any direction I want.
School ---> Peace Corps --->Marriage & kids OR school --->Peace Corps ---> Grad School in Hawaii or Alaska or California or Oregon and then hope that I find my eternal companion in one of those states and then adopt or just find a single dad....
Thinking about all of this makes my brain hurt and gives me more anxiety then I need. At least I have the weekend to really think about it.
Comments