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Beginnings and Endings

Four more days; that's is all that is left of the year 2015. The date that Marty McFly and Doc went to in the future - October 21, 2015 - is now in the past. There are things that I didn't think would be done this year, but somehow, I made happen. Things like: exercising on a consistent basis and changing jobs when I thought I was sitting pretty comfortably for another two years. 

(Google search)

Exercise has become a integral part of my day. When I don't exercise, my body knows. When I do, though, I sleep better and I feel better about myself. Since moving in with Janae, I've been more mindful of what I put in my body and how much I exercise. She's a Beach Body coach, which means I have access to the 21 Day Fix workouts. Those are probably my favorite workouts. I took a few days off to battle a cold and when I started back with the upper fix, I strained my shoulder a bit. I tried playing doctor and self-diagnosed myself with a torn rotator cuff in my left shoulder. I'll probably have to rest my shoulder a bit and do other workouts in the meantime. Or go to the doctor - which I really, REALLY don't want to do, especially if it turns out that I do have a torn rotator cuff. Ugh...anyway. Exercise has become my friend and I'm hoping to make it more of a habit. The next step is to work on what I eat. While I've been more mindful of how much I'm putting in my body, the type of food hasn't really changed. 

(Beach Body)

I've also been to church more in the past four months than I have all year. Anything spiritual has been lacking in my life since I was in Oregon. Even when I moved back over three years ago, I hadn't really made an effort to make any real changes that I needed to make. I was on a path laid in good intentions and failed promises and it wasn't leading anywhere I truly wanted to go. Getting back on the path that I want to get on is hard. But really, since moving in with Janae and having her good influence around has been a true godsend. Really. 

(LDS Portland, Oregon Temple)

Back in October when I was in California, I visited my mom at the cemetery. The ugly cry came out. The way I felt while there is still too personal to share. Let's just say that the expectation I have of myself in my head doesn't match the expectation that I think my mom would have had. That's also in my head. I don't know what she would have expected had she lived. Maybe my own expectations for myself are astronomically way too high. Part of me thinks that all my mom would want is that I be happy and successful in whatever I'm doing with my life. The other part of me thinks that there's more that I need to accomplish. I know I am capable of so much more than what I'm doing right now. Being comfortable is my forte. The aches and pains that accompany growth is something that I don't like experiencing.

Most of any sort of growth I've experienced can be attributed to moving in with Janae. Learning more of my personality and what motivates me is one of those things. Like how much of an INFJ personality I am. I'm also a major white personality as well as an obliger. I'll have to write a more in depth post about what all these personality types mean, but when all is said is done, I'm the kind of person that likes peace and quiet. For anyone that really knows me, you're probably shaking your head saying, "Well, duh." But there's really more to these personality traits than meets the eye. Another post for another day. I promise. 


Anyhow, with the year ending, I needed to record something of what I've done. Maybe I'll do that another day when I'm not so pressed for time to do other things that I ought to be doing. Like sleeping. There go my procrastination skills...again. 

Comments

Janae said…
Finally subscribed to your blog, since I apparently didn't the first time I browsed to it. I think you're a pretty impressive person with so much more in you than you maybe realized before now. And I'm so happy that you're realizing it! There's so much we can change about ourselves when we acknowledge and accept our challenges and strengths.

I know you keep a lot inside and don't let anyone in your walls. So the vulnerability you express here and in your note to me for Valentine's does not go unnoticed or underappreciated.

You're a good person Joyce, and an example to me of patience and hard work and the importance of doing uncomfortable things.
February 14, 2016 at 9:59 PM
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