I had a hard day at work. I felt like I'm always the one that does the dirty work. A quick recap: towards the end of my shift, I got a call from the Transient Office at DI for a gas voucher. So the guy comes and brings his voucher in. Easy enough. Well some mofo decided to drive off with the hose on the pump this guy was using prior to him coming in for his gas. If the hose is pulled on hard enough it'll eventually come off. It happened. The "blessed" day came where I had to do an emergency shut off for the gas pumps and clean up the effing mess. So I had this gigantic mess to clean up on top of the paperwork I had to do for my shift. The whole time I was trying to clean up the mess, I was saying a prayer that I would just calm down and not get mad about it. It didn't quite happen. So instead I prayed that it'd just rain so I could stop going in and out for buckets of water to clean up the gas. That prayer worked. Long story short, I decided that I couldn't do everything myself all the time so I passed the chore on to the next shift seeing as there's two of them at the gas station tonight.
I was still pretty stressed out when I got off the bus tonight. I was going to go spend the ONE dollar I have in my wallet and get a cheese burger from McDonalds because that's what I do. When I'm stressed, I eat. Instead of doing that, I just walked home breathing in deeply and pushing out the breath. When I got home, I wasn't so stressed out. I'm tired now which is a better alternative to being tense and stressed. I'm still thinking about the mess that is hopefully either being washed away by the rain or is getting a few more buckets full of water dumped on it but I'm not obsessing about it. Which is good for my sanity for sure.
Anyhow, I really just wanted to write that God is aware of you and me. I think people are at different stages of feeling and believing in that awareness, but its true no matter how you look at it. For me its a comforting thought. Of course we are human and a lot of the time we get carried away with our own emotions that we forget that God is aware of us. We sometimes think that He isn't watching over us or is just letting us float around in the world, but that isn't the case. He's there waiting for you and I to ask for help, for comfort, for peace. I think, for me at least this is true, Heavenly Father leaves a lot of decisions up to me and lets me figure things out for myself. He doesn't necessarily leave me, He just thinks that I need to get off the plateau I'm on and wants me to progress to a higher plane.
I'm thankful for that.
Thankful sung by Josh Groban explains how I feel about it.
Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.
Look beyond ourselves
There's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It's so long overdue
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.
Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each other's light
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more
There's so much to be thankful for.
He does such a good job singing that song. It makes me cry. I wish I had the words to adequetly share how I feel about my Heavenly Father right now. Weird how a little prayer said out of despair can make you feel so...loved. I was definitely crabby and out of sorts after the gas spewed all over the place. It doesn't matter now because I know that it's in the past and I can't do anything about what happened. I probably didn't deserve an answer to my prayer for acting the way I did towards customers running between the store and the parking lot, but I got one. I waited a while to even pray for the right thing which is just me trying to take care of everything myself instead of relying on my Heavenly Father for support and having more faith in my co-workers that they'll help out with the mess.
I get so stressed out because I think I can do everything myself and the truth is, I can't. I can't do it all myself. Its definitely a pride issue and I hate that I'm that way. Depending on people isn't what I'm used to. Sure, I can depend on my family and friends for some things, but for the most part I think that if I want it done right or what I think is right, I'd rather do it myself.
Anyway, there's a little bit of my soul bared for your viewing pleasure...I'm prideful and yes, it'll probably be my downfall.
On a lighter, not so spiritual note, I needed a massive hug when I got home and my nieces delivered beautifully.
And now I can go rest and think of a better tomorrow.
I was still pretty stressed out when I got off the bus tonight. I was going to go spend the ONE dollar I have in my wallet and get a cheese burger from McDonalds because that's what I do. When I'm stressed, I eat. Instead of doing that, I just walked home breathing in deeply and pushing out the breath. When I got home, I wasn't so stressed out. I'm tired now which is a better alternative to being tense and stressed. I'm still thinking about the mess that is hopefully either being washed away by the rain or is getting a few more buckets full of water dumped on it but I'm not obsessing about it. Which is good for my sanity for sure.
Anyhow, I really just wanted to write that God is aware of you and me. I think people are at different stages of feeling and believing in that awareness, but its true no matter how you look at it. For me its a comforting thought. Of course we are human and a lot of the time we get carried away with our own emotions that we forget that God is aware of us. We sometimes think that He isn't watching over us or is just letting us float around in the world, but that isn't the case. He's there waiting for you and I to ask for help, for comfort, for peace. I think, for me at least this is true, Heavenly Father leaves a lot of decisions up to me and lets me figure things out for myself. He doesn't necessarily leave me, He just thinks that I need to get off the plateau I'm on and wants me to progress to a higher plane.
I'm thankful for that.
Thankful sung by Josh Groban explains how I feel about it.
Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.
Look beyond ourselves
There's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It's so long overdue
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.
Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each other's light
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more
There's so much to be thankful for.
He does such a good job singing that song. It makes me cry. I wish I had the words to adequetly share how I feel about my Heavenly Father right now. Weird how a little prayer said out of despair can make you feel so...loved. I was definitely crabby and out of sorts after the gas spewed all over the place. It doesn't matter now because I know that it's in the past and I can't do anything about what happened. I probably didn't deserve an answer to my prayer for acting the way I did towards customers running between the store and the parking lot, but I got one. I waited a while to even pray for the right thing which is just me trying to take care of everything myself instead of relying on my Heavenly Father for support and having more faith in my co-workers that they'll help out with the mess.
I get so stressed out because I think I can do everything myself and the truth is, I can't. I can't do it all myself. Its definitely a pride issue and I hate that I'm that way. Depending on people isn't what I'm used to. Sure, I can depend on my family and friends for some things, but for the most part I think that if I want it done right or what I think is right, I'd rather do it myself.
Anyway, there's a little bit of my soul bared for your viewing pleasure...I'm prideful and yes, it'll probably be my downfall.
On a lighter, not so spiritual note, I needed a massive hug when I got home and my nieces delivered beautifully.
And now I can go rest and think of a better tomorrow.
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