A Little ♥ and Soul

Oh life. I've been trying to get on a schedule, of sorts, this week. So far, it's going pretty well. I just need to figure out a few kinks here and there. And I need to stop snacking so much! Ugh...now that I'm home, I'm eating more than I should. It was so much easier to stick to a diet when I was at my brother's. Anyhow, life has been good. Can't really complain. I'm walking around and I'm venturing into going up and down the stairs without my walking boot on. Work has been good. Walking up the icy driveway AND stairs is a little treacherous in the walking boot, but I'm going to have to conquer it when the snow and ice melt a little bit in a regular shoe. I think that's what I'm most nervous about: walking in a regular shoe without the extra support of the walking boot...OUTSIDE. Anyway, I was thinking about what I need to do this next year of my life. A while back, I came up with a theme for the year. One year was The Year of The Learner...

Life is good right now. Things have been coming together pretty well with the transition in going home from being at my brother's for the past 2 months. I am really, REALLY ready to go home. Not that I don't appreciate my brother and his family and having people to lean on while I've recuperated from fracturing my ankle, I'm just ready to go home and live my life again. Finances will be tight for a while, but I really don't mind eating beans and rice for dinner. Plus, I have a Cafe Rio free meal punch card that I've been hanging on to for the past couple months. I could always use that when I'm feeling bored with being poor. Free food always tastes better anyway. I had a nice chat with my Bishop yesterday after church. I sneaked in between tithing settlement interviews to have my own - since finding a ride from American Fork to Provo is a big pain - and it was a really good chat. There were things that I needed to talk to him about. Let's just say that...

So, I got the okay to start walking on my foot again. This is amazing news! Although, I think I'm a lot slower now that I'm walking than when I was solely using my crutches. My shoulders are relieved by the news to say the least. Thursday after my appointment at the Diabetes Management Clinic, my sister in law, nephew and I went to the library. The walk from the car to the clinic and back should have done me in. But I was feeling good. I've lost 30 pounds in the last six weeks. I figured I might as well get some exercise in and burn a few more calories. Yikes...let me tell you, when you're not mobile and are using only crutches to get around, you have no idea what kind of muscles are involved in using such contraptions. Anyhow, I'm pretty excited to start walking again and a little nervous for what that means. Lots more discomfort from working muscles in my messed up ankle and the fact that I have no idea how well I'm going to be able to get around in the next...

I'm feeling sick to my stomach tonight. I hate that feeling where you could be just fine if you had a comfy bed to lay in and turn the lights out or you just need to vomit to make everything feeling okay again. I'm teetering between the two. I don't drink soda anymore, so drinking some ginger ale is out of the question. In fact, I don't think I can put anything else in my stomach before I'd have to throw up. I didn't eat a lot today. These days, I consume less than 1500 calories a day just because of the sheer fact that the one of the meds I'm on makes my stomach digest food slower thus making me feel faster and longer. Plus sitting around all day not expending energy and the fact that gravity doesn't do much in the digestion department, I rarely ever feel hungry. Like, my stomach hasn't growled in 3 weeks. Ugh...I can't keep thinking about feeling sick. It makes me want to throw up. So, I'll bid ya'll a good night. Hopefully you're...

I have had a lot of time on my hands to think and fill out paperwork and stuff. But mostly I've been thinking. Not a lot of sleeping has been happening. On average, I still get about eight hours every night, but it's usually broken up into 2 or 3 segments. Every time I wake up or even reposition myself, it takes an hour for me to fall back to sleep. It's really irritating. Part of my problem is that I'm really not that sleepy. I mean, if I hadn't broken my ankle, I'd be doing my normal routine. Cleaning something, going on a walk or even going to work. All those activities require that I actually move my body. I need to eat to control my diabetes. I need to rest so my ankle continues to heal properly. But the fact that I spend most of my day rolling around on an office chair or slowly hobbling on my crutches or sitting around on the couch, I'm not expending any energy. Mental or physical energy. I should probably pick up a book or something to occupy my mind...

So, if we're friends on Facebook, you know that I broke my ankle Friday morning on my way home from work and then had surgery on Saturday to repair the bones. When something like that this happens to you, you find out, pretty quickly, when people say, "Oh, let me know if you need anything!" and then actually mean it. And then you find out, again, pretty quickly, that even one of your oldest friends, even if you haven't spoke to each other in almost a year, they just don't give a crap. No Facebook postings, no short emails, no text messages. ugh...this post can quickly turn into a very angry one, but I'm not going to let it. I'm just grateful for the people in my life who when they say, "Can I do anything for you?" and actually mean it. There are very few people in my life who I can group together in that column. They give me have hope in humanity even when I'm ready to give up.

So, a week ago today, I was coming home from the hospital with a fractured ankle that had been surgically repaired with 7 screws and a plate on my fibula and 2 screws in my tibia and one in my heel. To say the least, the past 10 days have been trying. A little back story... Friday the 20th of September, I was making my way home from another graveyard shift at the facility I work at as a graveyard instructor to teen-aged girls with behavioral problems. The night before my shift started, I went to the 7-11 up the street to buy some snacks to get me through the night. As I was walking to the street to throw away my snack trash in the big outside trash cans, I turned away from the trash cans and stepped in hole between the pavement of the street and the dirt lot where everyone else parks and fell. I heard a pop and immediately thought, "Oh, crap. Please don't be broken. Please don't be broken. Please don't be broken." I got up and continued my way down the street h...